Helping Kids Through the Holidays: Tips for Parents
The holiday season can be fun, but it can also be a bit overwhelming for some kids. With a little planning and the right tools, you can help your child make it through the season smoothly. Here are some simple ways to support your child during this busy time.
Set Clear Expectations Ahead of Time
Talking with your child about what to expect during the holidays can go a long way in helping them feel calm. Many kids feel more secure when they know what’s coming. Here’s how you can help:
Share the schedule: Let your child know about any changes in routine or plans for family gatherings or trips.
Explain what you expect: Be clear about how you’d like them to act at events or with others.
Choose a quiet spot: Set up a place where they can go to take a break if they feel too overwhelmed. This could be a room in your house or even a quiet corner.
Prepare for new places: Talk through what will happen in new settings or around new people. Help them think of ways to stay calm if things don’t go as planned.
Practice Coping Skills
The holidays are a great time to practice coping skills that can help your child feel more at ease. Try these strategies together to help them feel comfortable:
Deep breathing: Teach your child to take slow breaths when they feel stressed. Breathing in for four counts, holding it, and breathing out for four counts can be very calming.
Muscle relaxation: Show them how to squeeze and relax their fists or shoulders to release tension.
Use sensory tools: Some kids find it helpful to have something to hold or touch, like a soft toy or headphones for listening to calming music.
Encourage breaks: Let your child know it’s okay to take a few minutes away to reset if they’re feeling overwhelmed.
Keep Routines and Boundaries
It’s normal to want to be more relaxed during the holidays, but sticking to routines can help kids feel safe and grounded:
Stick to usual routines: Try to keep mealtimes, bedtimes, and other routines the same. This sense of routine can help kids feel more secure.
Keep rules clear: If possible, hold to the same expectations for behavior that you usually have at home. Big changes can make kids feel unsure and may lead to more acting out.
Limit activities: Avoid packing in too many events, as it can lead to burnout. Sometimes saying “no” to one more activity is the best way to keep things calm.
Set boundaries with family and friends: You know your children and their limits best. Honor them by setting boundaries around who you spend time with, and how much time you spend when off schedule.
Praise Positive Behavior
Encouraging your child’s efforts helps build their confidence and lets them know they’re doing a good job. Here’s how:
Acknowledge their efforts: Notice and praise when your child handles a tough moment well. For example, “I saw you take a break when you got upset. That was a smart choice.”
Celebrate small successes: The holidays can be challenging, so every little success counts. Recognize when they make a positive choice.
Model calmness: Kids learn by watching. Showing calm behavior can encourage them to do the same.
Remember Self-Care for You
It’s easy to forget about your own needs during a busy season, but taking care of yourself helps you be there for your child:
Set your own limits: If you’re feeling overwhelmed, take a moment to pause and reset. This can help you stay calm.
Ask for help: Whether it’s a family member’s support or a few quiet minutes to yourself, find ways to take a break when needed.
Celebrate progress, not perfection: Not every moment will go as planned. Focus on small successes and remember that progress takes time.
With some planning, the holidays can be a time of growth and connection for your family. By setting clear expectations, practicing calming strategies, and keeping routines, you can help your child manage the season with confidence. Enjoy this time together and make positive memories!
Andrew Rozsa, PhD